Mistress of the Night

She betrayed herself to that calling in the night,

The promises of the impossible.

She danced solo under the moon light,

A free style dance.

Making love to the breeze.

Lost in her own trance.

Forgetting about the burning sun,

Hurting her so bad.

She was no morning creature,

She dwelt at night.

Seeing her under the moon beams was quite a sight.

Mistress of the night.

She can now set herself free.

Sleep under a tree, carefree.

Happy just to be.

The trees crackle together whispering,

About the mistress of the night.

 

Freedom

Locked in a pretty prison. Expensive, yes. But so cold. Each day I die inside a little more. Like a bird I long to be free, like a bird who would be better left out in nature. But its owners think that nature is harmful! May be bird hunters are harmful but how can nature be. They say the jungle is full of bird hunters and it is dangerous. Yes it is, but the burd has learned to be an eagle and it can fight. One day, the bird was given its freedom, after it was too late. It forgot how to fly, although it still had wings.

Too Cool !!

I was out with my brother and our mutual freinds. i got acquainted to this new guy, and i told my brother that I wished I had more time to talk to him. Guess what he said? “He is too cool for you”. Too cool for me!!! just because the guy had a rock band, does not mean that I do not have a fun side of me too-although I am not arocker:)- however when i was alittle kid i wished I was, in my dreams that is, It was happy when I heard that some Egyptian girls from AUC made the first female Egyptian Rock band and sang in sakyit El Sawy. Anyway I am sure I have this fun side to me but it never gets the chance to show itself. to be there in the open. I hope I will sing in Sakyit El Sawy one day. Hey why don’t we form a band guys?  

About Travelling

Ya its been a dream of mine since I was a little kid. However, I got far as (koshk 3am Dok Dok). I read about places and dreamt of going there. I like other cultures. I like to explore new things.

here is a song that i relate to:

This park and these houses, old streets I have walked
Everything dear, will it be here
One day when I am returning?
My friends will get married, have children and homes
It sounds so nice, well-planned and wise
Never expecting surprises

I wonder, it’s frightening
Leaving now, is that the right thing?
I wonder, it scares me
But who the the hell am I if I don’t leave it
I’m not a coward
Oh no, I’ll be strong
One chance in a lifetime
Yes I will take it, it can’t go wrong

My friends and my family, this dull little town
Buses I’ve missed, boys that I’ve kissed
Everything old and familiar

I wonder, it’s frightening
Leaving now, is that the right thing?
I wonder, it scares me
But who the the hell am I if I don’t leave it
I’m not a coward
Oh no, I’ll be strong
One chance in a lifetime
Yes I will take it…
Yes I will take it, it can’t go wrong

“I Wonder” by ABBA

Juanita

“Juanita She is the restless river
running through my veins
She rides without the reins–
her name’s Juanita”

Yes I have a Juanita inside me I always have been different from other girls and still am. My priority was never marriage. I never dreamt of that white bridal dress. My mom always called me a rebel, unfortunately no body else saw that. In fact they always think I am traditional and obedient we bita3. I always think about this. Why isn’t my true self shining. I think i kno the answer because poople will not accept me for who I am. Guys who don’t know me will think I am a bad girl because I do not want to get married, and girls will think that I am lieng”yatamna3n wa honna ra3′ibat”. So i decided that this is something very personal and that whenever the subject of marriage is broght up I will just act like any other girl would act, say insha Allah. My priority however was always my career. I noticed that this career orieneted thing turns a lot of suitors off. I used not to show it, but not intentionally, simply because I did not talk much out of shyness, so no body really knew how my charecter is. Now I am really blunt and say it out loud: ” I am married to my job”. That is why now i fell kinda of depressed that I am jobless. I lost my job a couple of months ago. it makes me feel sad that I have six years of experience now, yet I can not find a suitable job. How I lost my job, or in other words how my job lost me- is another story that I will tell later isA. Anyway back to Juanita that runs through my veins. I always wanted to make a difference in life in general and not only in my own personal life. I did some volunteer work and i wished to jon the UN Volunteers, but this is did not work out for some reason I do not know.

She lives in the heart of every
woman in the world
Within the reach of every girl
who wants to meet her(She’s gonna be ridin’ through)
Her name’s Juanita
(She’s gonna be ridiin’ free) She’s ridin’ free
(She’s gonna be inside of you, gonna be
inside of me) She’s inside of you
and inside of me, yeah Oh, go with her–flow with her
Dream with her–scream with her
Let her take over, or just get to know her
Be everything you can be
If you can find her and free her
Juanita will unchain your heartWhen someone tries to take
away the freedom of your choice
To take away your voice–
that’s when you need her
She’s there if you dare to give
your broken wings a try
C’mon and take a leap and fly,
and you can be her

Freedom, I always fought for it my whole life and still do. Its just kinda of sad that when I really needed it, i did not have it. When I was younger I needed more freedom to go out more and to do things I wanted to do. Now I have more freedom, however I can not make use of it because I lost most of my freinds, they either got married or left the country. Although freedom should be a birth right, but I am very proud that I earned my own freedom.

(She’s gonna be ridin’ through) Oh, Juanita
(She’s gonna be ridin’ free) Ridin’ free
(She’s gonna be a part of you, gonna be a
part of me) She’s a part of you and a part
of me, yeah Oh, go with her–flow with her
Dream with her–scream with her
Let her take over, or just get to know her
Be everything you can be

No more nice girl

I tried to change my very nice attitude but no body seems to like it. I don’t care. From now on I will only please myself. I have given before my all to people. Thank God that English friend of mine gave me advice to care for myself more. I guess his words were the turning point in my life. He had a lisp, but he said that I am the only one who understood him. I wonder why?  How I miss him now.

The Logical Song” by an 80s band called Supertramp

When i was young
It seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees
Well they´d be singing so happily
Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me
But then they sent me away
To teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible ,practical
And they showed me a world
Where i could be so dependable
Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical

There are times when all the world´s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won´t you please, please tell me what we´ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who i am

Now watch what you say
Or they´ll be calling you a radical
A liberal, oh fanatical, criminal
Oh won´t you sign up your name
We´d like to feel you´re
Acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable!

At night when all the world´s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won´t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who i am, who i am ,who i am

my note:

I wish that our parents, school and society would let us be what we want to be. Although I chose my college and I chose my job, yet I am not the person I wished to be. Society wants us to be logical and practical and in reality I am far away from that. Yes biy2oly 3alaya bent 3a2la we hadya but little do they know J I am the complete opposite, in fact am a little bit crazyJ It makes me sad not being able to show my true self, for I might not be accepted that way in society. That is why I try to let it all out in my writings. Yet most people are so stupid to think that what I write is real and not fiction, and they apply it to me and my life, which puts me in so much trouble. So I decided I will write in a fake name to be protected.

Its my life. Its now or never, I aint gonna live forever

I finally decided to live my unlived life. I am going to do whatever it takes  to live every moment of it in happiness. I just spent so much time working and not having fun. Now its going to be only fun. I am going to live it up. I am going to smell the coffee.

Single and not ready to mingle

قرينتي

قرينتي عشاقها….قرابين تذبحها للشيطان. رومانسية في مجونها.جذابة في جنونها.تكسر القلوب كما تكسر البيضة لعمل الأومليت. قرينتي عيناها ثقب أسود لايعود منه أحد. شفتاها بمذاق الكراميل الساخن. تحتسي كؤوس اللذة بعد البسملة. مشيتها، رقصة محمومة في ليل مكتمل القمر. قرينتي تمشي في كل الدروب تنظر للناس بنظرة تلقيها من برج إيفل. تحسدها كل نساء الأرض ولا يستطعن كالحجر أن يفلقنها. قرينتي كلماتها، لسعة بردفي ليلة شتاء دافئة. صوتها، يأخذك لغيابات جب مظلم. خطيئتها الوحيدة أنهاتركت بقايا فضيلة تعلق به.ا